Weather Deprived No More

Wind whipping through the palms.

Every night on the news for the past week the lead story has been the devastating weather conditions more than 200 million Americans face as the result of a winter storm created by the Polar Vortex. Needless to say Californians, especially those of us living in southern California, are unaccustomed to being upstaged by some meteorological conspiracy so obviously designed to drive up ratings in households from New England across the Midwest and right down to the Florida panhandle. If the economy wasn’t already on its way back the outlook for growth could not be brighter. Commercial enterprises from Toro snow-blowers to clear sidewalks to Eveready batteries to energize heated gloves, not to mention the extra layer of clothing J.C. Penney provides to go over Jockey thermal underwear, are thriving as most of the country confronts one of the coldest winters on record.

Fierce winds force closing of umbrella.
Notice leaves scattered on top of pool.

Meanwhile, here in Southern California, where variability usually means 68 or 72, instead of the monotonous drone of 70, we have suffered a weather phenomenon bringing unseasonable warmth into our region. For the past seven days the temperature has reached 80 degrees or warmer, and there’s no end in sight. While we may not be in the path of the frigid winds reaching down further than normal to create freezing pipes and drifts of snow in places south of the Mason-Dixon line, we have been repeatedly blasted by our own version of the “Vortex,” the Santa Anas. These winds swoop in from the East defeating the mild offshore flow of air and raising thermometers as they deposit leaves and Palm fronds across artificially induced lawns and innocent pools, many of which lie dormant once water temperatures drop below 76 degrees.

Clothing Crisis - Is it all right to wear
shorts in winter?

Unlike my Midwestern family and friends who with the touch of a button or a yank on a pull cord have a powerful drive and sidewalk clearing apparatus at their disposal, I am forced to operate a net at the far end of a long metal handle to skim the debris floating on top of the water, so it doesn’t descend to the bottom and choke my robotic pool cleaner.  Worse is being deprived of the decision as to whether to wear my Eddie Bauer cable knit sweater or J.Crew sweatshirt as my third layer prior before putting on my down coat, but instead face the question of whether it is more appropriate to wear long or short pants in the heavy winds.

I believe it was Jack Black who said it best in the immortal classic movie, Holiday; “Strange things happen when the Santa Anas blow.” So, I can only speculate, especially since I have no meteorological evidence to support my conjecture, it was this wind blowing across the high desert increasing temperatures here that caused the disturbance known as the Polar Vortex that is grabbing all the headlines. After all, if the Santa Anas can make Kate Winslet fall for Jack Black, then anything is possible.