Ah-Huh, So That’s What You Do

It’s much easier to tell someone I’m a retired teacher than to say I’m a writer. Similar to my experience as a teacher, I find most people think not only can they teach but they can write, too. No doubt there is some truth to this. However, just like everyone can cook or tell a joke, carving out a career as a teacher or writer poses the same challenges as earning a living as a chef or comedian. While they’ve developed reality shows to help expand opportunities for those with talent cooking or making people laugh, I am still waiting for my readers to produce the first show that serves as a platform for those who make viewers want to learn or read more.  In the meantime the question comes up, “So, what do you do?”

The two book shelves in my study.

As I’ve noted before, I have completed my first novel and I am looking for an agent to represent me to the publishing world. This requires a degree of salesmanship most writers lack. After all, we’re writers, not sales people. That’s why we have agents; but first the writer must find an agent. Fortunately, they don’t hide. Unfortunately, they usually say no. Staying motivated while sending out a query letter is the equivalent to a person in sales making a cold call. Just as every 16-year-old kid with a love of singing wants to be the next Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber—well, maybe there are better role models—every potential author wants to be the next Harper Lee. Her royalties for To Kill A Mockingbird earn her $9,249 every day.

Newspaper article my friend shared
talks about workshop by author Ricard Bausch.

When I’m not making a fool of myself on some awards show or getting arrested for driving under the influence (remember, this is supposed to be satirical), I’m penning the next brilliant post for this blog, polishing my latest short story, creating characters and plot points for my next novel, networking with other writers, attending seminars and workshops, or doing research. It was at my monthly writer’s club meeting I learned the aforementioned Harper Lee statistic. At the same meeting there was a seminar on the seven stages of story development.

A little more than a week ago a friend gave me a newspaper clipping about a workshop being offered by Richard Bausch, author of eleven novels and eight collections of stories. He selected ten of the 150 applicants submitting 20 page manuscripts last year. I sent him the first chapter from my novel.

Novel I am currently reading. I first read it a
little more than 40 years ago.

Conducting research as a writer is not the same as a scientist working in a laboratory. Although, I’m sure there are more similarities than differences. While we may not always know what we’re looking for, more often than not we know it when we see it. More than anything else, agents and publishers claim to be looking for a unique voice. My mind immediately turns to Gilbert Gottfried or Bobcat Goldthwait, but I’m not sure those are the voices they want to hear. Searching on Google may provide facts and information to make a story accurate, but becoming the next Twain, Hemingway or Lee requires immersion in literary works. For those of us without adequate e-reader resources—an issue I hope to resolve in the near future—the bookshelf is an excellent starting point. Beyond that, there is the library.