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| Peach is both a popular color for weddings and birthdays in the East Room. The gentleman standing to the left of the bouquet thought he had to wear peach for Debbie's birthday. |
We are a year and 9 days short of thirty years of
marriage. Under the rules of the Geneva,
Hallmark or some such convention, there are several issues a married man is
never allowed to discuss with anyone but his wife. The first, of course, is the quality of sex
in their bedroom or in any other room of the house should he be allowed to participate.
Second, and this follows closely from the first, is any thoughts,
considerations or fantasies regarding sex with any member of the opposite sex
outside the boundaries of marriage are strictly forbidden. No mention of hair
color, chafed skin, irritable bowel, bunions, halitosis, underarm stains,
wrinkles, chin hairs, flatulence, vaginal irritation or tooth discoloration is
permissible under any circumstances. Finally, no hint whatsoever regarding her
age will be tolerated, even if this means direct confrontation with the oldest
child about how old his or her mother was when she gave birth to him or her.
What I can tell you was my beautiful wife Debbie celebrated
the anniversary of her birth last Sunday.
In her honor, or perhaps by coincidence, the Nixon Foundation, which
runs the library and birthplace of the 37th President, chose to
invite us to a champagne and cake reception—for those considering having a
wedding at a nearby venue (we have two daughters in their twenties, which
certainly is enough qualification) and our neighbors decided to have our second
annual block party on that date.
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| A number of attendees in the East Room were thrilled to wish Debbie a happy birthday once they had their fill of hors d' oeuvres. |
Since Debbie is still recovering from the ankle fracture she
suffered six weeks ago, she was forced to attend both events held in her honor
in her wheel chair. This in no way
slowed her from extinguishing her thirst with the complimentary champagne, nor
tasting the fair of the various catering services, whether it meant suffering
through some crab or shrimp hors d’oeuvres or miniature chocolate éclair or
cupcake to alleviate her hunger. A number of attendees at the festivities at
the Nixon Library failed to congratulate or acknowledge her on this special
day, but she assumed it had something to do with our not being registered
Republicans.
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| If you found the East Room too congested you could come outside to the rose garden to wish Debbie a happy birthday. |
After we left the East Room and the rose garden, where one
of the event coordinators explained various options were we to decide to return
for one of our daughter’s weddings, we drove back to our humble home a couple
of miles away. Not long after our
return, some of our neighbors erected canvas canopies to shelter us from the
glaring sun, and started filling folding tables with various dishes. It was
wonderful to see all our neighbors gather to celebrate this day. Then, without
regard to what occurred at the Nixon Library, one of our neighbors produced a
large yellow cupcake, although it might have been one of those shrunken yellow
frosted cakes, placed a candle on top, lit it and led us in a rousing version
of Happy Birthday.
Although I failed to get a photograph of the aforementioned
cake, somehow I managed to make it through the day without falling into the
trap of violating one of those rules of a successful marriage I mentioned at
the top of this post. As a result, I am looking forward to starting our thirtieth
year of marriage in ten days.
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