Don’t waste your time with overly sentimental greeting cards
that are read once and thrown away, or flowers that whither and die, or
chocolate that puts on unwanted pounds. No, its time to show that special
someone you really care. Get her that snug little automatic she can slide into
her handbag and him one of those solidly crafted assault rifles to hang in the
cab of his truck. Of course, if you’re worried she might slit your throat with
the stiletto her not-so-ex-boyfriend gave her for her birthday, because you’re
not being politically correct, you might give her a monogrammed AR-15 to tuck
in the backseat of her Mustang.
Expressing your love and affection with the last line of
defense against an increasingly malevolent world, not only shows the level of
your care and concern but leaves your lover know you are not afraid to assert
your second amendment rights. After all
there is a special allure to an individualist willing to stand up to those
wusses in Washington. A true patriot knows our Forefathers never intended to
make us weak and dependent upon some civil servant with a badge.
One of the great advantages of giving a gun as a gift is the
opportunity it provides to accessorize. Just think of all the future presents
you will be able to give to the proud gun owner. There are so many
possibilities. From the sleek leather holsters, to the sturdy woven straps, as
well as some impressive looking ammunition belts. A most popular extra, which
some bleeding-heart liberals want to take away from law-abiding citizens
because a few mentally unstable weirdoes went on a rampage, is the
high-capacity clip. Actually, now that I
think about it, why don’t you just include the high-capacity clip with your
gift this Valentine’s Day as a statement to the world about how you feel about
the invasion on your right to put as many holes as you think necessary to stop
the creep.
If you really want to make a romantic impression you might
consider purchasing a joint membership in the National Rifle Association. Such a sign of solidarity would compliment
your gift exquisitely. After all, it was David Keene, President of the NRA, who
said, “The AR-15 is the musket of today.”
Or, as the great American rock star, Ted
Nugent, put it, “Would you leave us the hell alone? Go after the nut jobs, go
after the murderers, because I don’t know any.” Now, there’s something to say
the next time some sicko tries to make you feel responsible for a bunch of dead
kids in Connecticut just because you own a gun.
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